Consoling Those in Grief
Recently I've discovered how much of a miserable failure I am when it comes to consoling others going through rough spots in their lives.
It's not that I'm not sensitive to what they're feeling. I'm not oblivious or callous. It's that I don't know what to say.
A family friend recently lost her daughter to a nasty fight with cancer. When I saw her at work, on her first day back, I stupidly said, "How's it going?", as though I expected an upbeat response. I have no experience with terminal cancer. I know she hurts like she's never hurt before. But I just don't know what to tell her.
Whether it's a death, a job loss or even just a really bad day for someone, I'm usually at a loss for helpful words.
I always tell the person I'll pray for them, and I mean it. It's just that sometimes that feels inadequate. I don't know why, considering it's one of the most powerful things we can do for someone.
As a Christian, how do you handle these types of situations?
It's not that I'm not sensitive to what they're feeling. I'm not oblivious or callous. It's that I don't know what to say.
A family friend recently lost her daughter to a nasty fight with cancer. When I saw her at work, on her first day back, I stupidly said, "How's it going?", as though I expected an upbeat response. I have no experience with terminal cancer. I know she hurts like she's never hurt before. But I just don't know what to tell her.
Whether it's a death, a job loss or even just a really bad day for someone, I'm usually at a loss for helpful words.
I always tell the person I'll pray for them, and I mean it. It's just that sometimes that feels inadequate. I don't know why, considering it's one of the most powerful things we can do for someone.
As a Christian, how do you handle these types of situations?
posted by Ricky Anderson at
6:07 AM
2 Comments:
I agree! I was originally going to say that I like to tell people that I am already praying for them. (The key there is to already be praying for them.). But I did that yesterday and made someone cry.
My new tactic: pray for them, but don't tell them. Then just choose a neutral topic to pray about. If they are a believer, I'll just let the Holy Spirit do the comforting. (Yes, this will only work for certain people. Others I will pray with them and just slap them when they cry... Or not.)
Being sensitive is difficult thing to genuinely do. It gets easier as you get older and have kids and have gone through many difficult times yourself.
I think that it's a guy thing to find the right words to say, but sometimes an encouraging word or to let them know you're glad to see them is all that is needed.
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