Give Us the Money and No One Gets Hurt

Have you ever worked in customer service? Most of us have, whether it was slinging burgers for the clown or hawking clothes at the mall.

Now let me ask you this: Have you ever threatened your customers?

If that last question made you do a double-take, there's hope for you yet.

I got a call the other night from Wells Fargo, who holds our mortgage. The lady on the other end hardly let me get out a "Howdy" before she interrupted me with a terse dissertation along the lines of "I am with Wells Fargo Home Mortgage. This is an attempt to collect on an outstanding debt. This conversation is being recorded for use in any court proceedings brought forth by your default on this outstanding debt. What is your address, for our records?"

Now, at this point, I'm a little miffed. I know for a fact we paid the mortgage. Not only did we pay it, we paid it on time, which happened to be last week. I pulled up our bank account online while she was busy being rude and threatening me with legal action. Sure enough, I can see the check has cleared. I can even print a scanned image of the check. I'm positive it'll match the amount and date printed on the receipt from Wells Fargo. This lady doesn't have a leg to stand on. Armed with this knowledge, I proceed forth boldly.

Me: If you're from Wells Fargo, and you hold the mortgage to my house, you don't need me to verify it - you have it sitting in front of you.
Grumpy Wells Fargo Lady (GWFL): I need to hear you say it.
Me: I don't even know who you are.
GWFL: I'm from Wells Fargo Home Mortgage, as I said before.
Me: I don't know that this is a Wells Fargo number. What's your name and employee number?
GWFL: I told you I was with Wells Fargo!
Me: Fine. Whatever. [I give the lady my address]
GWFL: Do you intend to keep your house?
Me: Of course.
GWFL: As your primary residence?
Me: Of course.
GWFL: Then you will need to pay us $X immediately, tonight, during this conversation, plus the late payment fee of $X.
Me: So you're saying you haven't received payment yet?
GWFL: That is the purpose of this call. How will you be paying for this today?
Me: I won't. We already paid you.
GWFL: No, you haven't. We have no record of any payment received on this debt.
Me: That's funny. I'm looking at my bank account right now and I can see for myself that not only were you paid, you were paid on time. We also have a receipt showing the same. Which would you like faxed to you?
GWFL: [Long pause, lots of typing.] Oh.
Me: Yes?
GWFL: It does show a payment.
Me: Amazing. Just like I said. So I trust you've taken care of your little 'late fee', correct?
GWFL: Of course.
Me: And you have corrected any erroneous information you may have reported to the credit agencies?
GWFL: Of course.
Me: Very good. Now, next time you might want to actually look at the account of the person you call before you accuse them of being a deadbeat. Have a good night.

Three key terms were missing from the Wells Fargo side of the conversation: 'Hello', 'Sorry', and 'Thank you'. With these included, this would have been a much different discussion.

We've owned our home for almost three years, and we have never, ever missed a payment. Not once.

If their records show no payment has been made by the due date, I understand someone calling me to clear it up. That's fine. But don't be rude and accusatory to a customer with a record so clean and shiny it squeaks. It's bad business. Insulting and treating with disdain the very people who give you money is not the way to win repeat business and loyal customers.

Sure, they'll continue to get my money for this mortgage. I can do nothing about that except refinance with someone else at a higher interest rate than I have now. But even then, they'll just turn around and sell my mortgage to Wells Fargo and I'll be back at square one.

What I can do, however, is a double-whammy. I will never do my personal or business banking with Wells Fargo. If they don't know where their money is, why would I trust them with mine? If they won't treat me with respect and decency, why would I want to deal with them more than I have to now?

I also can do things like post this escapade on my blog, letting everyone know how they dealt with me. I'll also tell my friends and family. Someone, somewhere, is bound to be influenced in their banking decision.

How wonderful for Wells Fargo if that influence were positive!